Some naively think that if same-sex marriage is allowed, that will bring an end to the controversy and we can then move on with our lives. Not quite. Over time we should expect tampering with the marriage model itself. With few exceptions, men and women who enter into marriage have a model, a firm idea of what they expect of their spouse and of themselves. With few exceptions, those who enter into marriage understand the ideal of marriage and family. And they understand the seriousness of the commitment they are making. Our culture and religions provide a model for marriage. No such understood or agreed-upon model exists for relationships outside of marriage, including homosexual relationships; rather, the principle of freedom predominates. If same-sex unions become equivalent to marriage under the law, then we should expect that those who disagree with the model of monogamous marriage will move to attack that model.

Paula Ettelbrick, former legal director of the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, said: "Being queer is more than setting up house, sleeping with a person of the same gender, and seeking state approval for doing so . . . . Being queer means pushing the parameters of sex, sexuality, and family, and in the process transforming the very fabric of society."¹⁷